King Arthur | Gung-Ho Guinevere and No Lancelot Affair

Believe me, I would never pass up anything vaguely related to Arthurian lore, be it Excalibur, The Mists of Avalon, or The Magic Sword: Quest for Camelot. Heck, I used to watch that Young Knights of the Round Table cartoon when I was a kid. It was with a little bit of trepidation, though, that I convinced myself to watch King Arthur. One, Keira Knightley plays Guinevere. Two, Guinevere is shooting arrows ala-Legolas. Three, she's in the center of the billboard and not King Arthur. However, upon watching the feature, it was a relief to see that the movie was not centered on Guinevere, but rather on Arthur and the six knights under his charge, especially his right hand, Lancelot. The relief, apparently, ends there.

The story is told from Lancelot's point of view, from his conscription as a Sarmatian teenager to the coronation of Arthur by, well, around a couple of villages' worth of people. At least we know that per History According to Jerry Bruckheimer (as the opening credits mention that this could be the most historically correct account of Arthur's rise to power)--at least we know that Arthur will become king of at least as many people as there are on one floor of SM at any given time of day. Huwaat? You spent all your CGI budget on the battle scenes? Shame, shame. Meanwhile, Arthur is a Roman captain who heads the Sarmatian conscripts--called knights, because there are no other knights thereabouts, none whatsoever. It is a battle-hardened bunch of soldiers, ranging from the feisty Gawain to brawny-yet-sweet Dagonet, whose name I have never encountered in Arthurian lore. Ever. Where was Percival? In fact, who is Bors (aside from the fact that he has eleven children)? Meanwhile, Artorius/Arthur and his gang of six make like a Dark Ages version of the Magnificent Seven or Seven Samurai.

To be freed from servitude, the knights need to undergo one last quest, to rescue a Roman family trapped deep in enemy Woad territory, caught between the Woads and the oncoming Saxons, who aim to burn and pillage and kill just for the fun of it, it seems. Never mind that the Woads could actually be the Picts (again, History According to Jerry Bruckheimer), or the seeming incongruity that a (rich) Roman family is deep in enemy territory, or that Excalibur was actually Arthur's Roman father's sword. Merlin is cast as a shaman, and not the wise wizard that we've all grown to admire. There is no Morgana le Fay, no Lady of the Lake, no Uther Pendragon. No Uther Pendragon! What is this person's claim to Britain's throne anyway? Snogging Keira Knightley? Sigh.

Not much acting chops were required for this movie, although I must admit that each of the actors seems to have gotten at least a 'signature' emotion down pat for the movie, like Clive Owen (Arthur) and his brooding righteousness, Ioan Gruffud's Lancelot and his foreboding, Mads Mikkelsen playing Tristan with a degree of animal appeal (now you know why the hawk is there), Ivano Marescotti's Bishop Germanius and his tempered arrogance, while Stellan Skarsgard as the Saxon leader Cerdic effectively conveys varying degrees of intimidation. And then there's Keira Knightley, looking every bit like Keira Knightley and not Guinevere, especially in v. skimpy war outfit. No one in particular shines in this movie, except maybe the little Woad boy who develops an affinity for Dagonet. Furthermore, there are instances that elicit snickers from the audience--made more worthy of derision because it is so darned serious! Antoine Fuqua (director of Training Day) stutters a little with this movie.

Need an Arthurian movie? Go rent/buy Excalibur. It's much better, you know. This is a particular rewriting of Arthurian lit that I feel nothing for. However, for the sheer entertainment value of a pseudo-historical action picture, not to mention the manly-man eye candy afforded by not-your-regular-American-studs Ioan Gruffud, Hugh Dancy (he could pass for American leading man though--and he has, in Ella Enchanted), and Mads Mikkelsen, it wasn't too much of a waste of a good two hours. But I'd take good old-fashioned R-rated blood and gore over this any time.

Well worth the ticket price at Power Plant, if only for Mads Mikkelsen in war paint and Last Samurai armor.

DLSU-AdMU | Studio23 | 07.11.2004

Oh yeah. We lost.

There is no excuse. DLSU choked, disappointing thousands of fans at the Araneta Coliseum and those like us, watching at home. Imagine leading by 15 points in the third quarter, only to be shackled to 10 points in the fourth, allowing your archrival to claw back into the game and win by three. Wonder-Boy Mac Cardona was nowhere to be found--well, no, you could find him on the bench, nursing his personal fouls. Meanwhile, everyone did quite well, at least until the third quarter. And then, it seems, everyone froze in the fourth.

The DLSU team has proven that they're a little green behind the ears (pun intended). They are somewhere near that championship team that bagged a four-peat at the tail-end of the '90s, talent-wise--although Ren-Ren Ritualo and Miek Cortez may be gone, Jeffrey Yeo, JV Casio, Jerwin Gaco, and Tyrone Tang seem to be stepping up. However, the team still has a long way to go in terms of consistency, savvy and grace under pressure. Here's hoping the alma mater's colors will dominate the UAAP once more... even if I am a jaded old LaSallian.

On ABS-CBN | 07.08.2004 - 07.09.2004

Various things seen/heard on ABS-CBN:

Sana'y Walang Nang Wakas is on its homestretch, and, cashing in on the text polls previously used by "talent shows" like Star Circle Quest, it is said to be the first telenovela/teleserye that will let the fans decide who will get married in the final episode. I'm sure that they've filmed various endings (similar to, say, the Who Shot JR? arc on Dallas). The build-up is tremendous--and I would actually be more concerned about how many people will text in. As people in the know in jologs circles would comment, the Jericho Rosales/Kristine Hermosa tandem seems to be on its last legs, not helped by the rumored pregnancy of Kristine by a network exec, the Jericho-Cindy Kurleto relationship, and the last Kristine-Aga movie. (Note that Aga does not need a surname. Not in the RP he doesn't.) However, among the couple combinations, I still think that this coupling is still one with the most oomph and the most fans. And that's my fearless forecast. It's still Kristine-Echo on the way to the altar. Teehee. Feeling "insider".

On Magandang Umaga Bayan (a.k.a. M.U.B.) this morning, the children's health segment said that parents should be concerned when children with colds exhibit a fever temperature of 100 to 102 degrees Celsius. They bloody well should, that's the boiling temperature of water! Their children would be dead by then! Hey researcher/reporter dudes... I think you meant Fahrenheit. Just a thought.

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simul-posted on deeper shade of soul

The Amazing Race | AXN | 07.07.2004

The fifth season of The Amazing Race premiered yesterday. There were live satellite feeds and then there was the slightly delayed telecast on AXN, which is at least on the same day and not on the weekend. The one-and-a-half-hour first episode was a race through Uruguay, including various challenges as searching for the earliest ferry-boat times on trees, to a game of roulette, and a zip line between buildings.

The first episode looks promising. Although I haven't really been following the show, and have previously deigned to make any emotional connections with any of the couples, last night's episode was particularly stirring because there was a father-and-daughter team--the father scraped his knee badly at the beginning of the race and was at different times of the race, either bleeding at the knee or nursing stitches. It didn't help that his headstrong daughter didn't look particularly concerned about it. Other teams included female cousins, one of which was a midget; a former Miss Texas USA and her boyfriend; and a past-middle-age couple who met through the internet. Meanwhile, the couple that got eliminated was eliminated because the guy was playing Mr. Nice Guy, especially when a lot of teams were waiting for taxis. Although they were obviously disappointed, his partner seemed sincere in saying that if his being a jerk would have meant the difference between being eliminated, she was better off with a nice guy.

But of course we all know that things are not really all as they seem on TV--even in reality TV. Who knows what was going on before the final editing? However, The Amazing Race is truly one of the better reality TV shows (come on--Amazing Race versus Joe Millionaire?), where catty remarks and human drama are interspersed with interesting locales and landmarks. Who would have known there was a huge sculpture of a hand in Punta della Este in Uruguay? And the best is yet to come: among the last legs of the race are Manila and Palawan. Truly, something to look forward to. Let's hear what they have to say about the Philippines!

CSI | AXN | 07.07.2004

On CSI last night : No More Bets

Catherine's estranged dad, casino owner Sam Braun, is being tagged for the murders of two men who have cheated his roulette table. Some stirring drama, especially from Scott Wilson portraying Sam Braun. You don't know what to feel for him. Also in this episode is Eddie Kaye Thomas, who played Finch in the American Pie movies. In my opinion, the latest episodes of CSI have been formulaic, either being clueless from the start until a damning piece of evidence is found, or targeting a suspect only to have another suspect come up. However, the cases are still quite compelling, especially last night's case which involved the tenuous relationship between Catherine and her father.

One thing to note, though--AXN seems to be upping the greed factor. A commercial was aired during the opening credits of CSI. It even spilled over to the first few seconds of the body of the episode. Brilliant. There is such a thing as overkill, you know.

Six Feet Under | HBO Asia | 07.06.2004

On Six Feet Under last night : Tears, Bones and Desire

From the HBO site, partial synopsis:

"When Ruth brings Arthur's laundry to his room one morning, she ends up delivering more than just bed linens. As Arthur is discussing Petrarch's contributions to history, Ruth suddenly leans forward and kisses him square on the lips. Then, mortified, she dashes out of the room. Later, Arthur approaches Ruth and tells her that he values their friendship very much and that in order to preserve it, she must never kiss him again. "I never will," she promises - then impulsively grabs him and does it again. "I'm out of control," she mutters to herself."

Such are the goings-on on Six Feet Under, an HBO original series about a family running a funeral home, must-see TV for myself and the younger sister. The above scenes had us screaming because Ruth is the widowed matriarch of the family, and Arthur is the nerdy college-age apprentice to restorer and funeral-home partner Federico. Among the other plotlines are Federico's wife Vanessa's despondency over the death of her mother (resulting in her neglecting her children to the point of their getting head lice); first son Nate's wife Lisa schedules a massage with Nate's ex Brenda just to see for herself what she was life; lovers David and Keith engage in gay paintball that results in a threesome; and youngest and only daughter Claire, the artist,

Last night's episode was particularly explosive, perhaps gaining steam for the last few episodes of the season. The loves and lives of the Fishers (and Diaz) make for very interesting watching. Add to that the lustre that is seemed to be gained by most HBO original series--it is well-made, has a higher shock-level than most series, and makes risks that regular network shows can't or don't dare make. Watching Six Feet Under is watching scandal unfold before your very eyes but there's nothing remotely melodramatic about it.

Sometimes we don't welcome drama in our lives--best to just watch and live vicariously.

Buffy | Studio23 | 07.05.2004

On Buffy last night : Chosen

The end is here.

At least, the end of the Buffy era. Studio 23 has aired the last episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, number 144. In last night's episode, Willow channeled the power of the scythe and dispersed Slayer power to all girls who had the potential to become Slayers, while Spike wore the amulet that caused the Hellmouth to close and killed the Turok-han, at the expense of his own (undead-wth-soul) life. It was a fitting end to a ground-breaking series that helped shape lives and has firmly ensconced Buffy as one of the role models of a new millenium.

Everything in the past few weeks had been leading to the emotional payoff of this episode, and it was masterfully crafted by Joss Whedon and his team, from the sweet yet tragic reconciliation of Xander and Anya, to the grudging peace between Buffy and Giles, even the Faith-Wood "romance" of sorts. Most importantly, we watched with bated breath from the cliffhanger of the previous episode where Spike watches Buffy kiss Angel and The First taunt him for this. Whedon and Co. also try to do a CGI battle, not quite on the scale of Lord of the Rings, but quite good for television. The last episode of Buffy was a blast, taken either singularly, or as the fitting end to a marvelous series.

And in the end, when the dust has settled, you are indeed made to look back, because one scene is reminiscent of 'The Harvest', second-ever episode. Buffy, Willow, and Xander are together, just like old time, chatting airily before they go into battle. "The Earth is definitely doomed," Giles, watching, bemuses. Of course it is not.

Andrew, our favorite geek, sums it up. It has been an honor.

Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen | Not Much Drama, Not Much Comedy Either

Lindsay Lohan headlines this movie about a creative yet self-centered fifteen-year-old who is uprooted from downtown New York to the suburbs of New Jersey. Mary Cep renames herself Lola and sets out to conquer her new school. She makes a new friend, the rich, polite good girl Ella, who shares her passion for the band Sidarthur, whose frontman Stu Wolff (a disheveled Adam Garcia) is, for Lola, “the best poet since Shakespeare”. She also makes a new enemy, rich bitch about town Carla Santini, whose father is the lawyer of Sidarthur. The main events of the story are the farewell concert of Sidarthur (notice the reference to Siddartha) and a school play, a rock-opera rendition of Pygmalion. Somewhere in between these, Mary/Lola finds that she has lied herself into a corner and when things matter most, people don’t believe it when she tells the truth. There is a parable waiting to be told, and a lot of teen capers in the process.

Coming on the heels of viewing Mean Girls, certain comparisons could not be and were absolutely not avoided. There are too many similarities—girl starts out in new school, immediately gets into the periphery of the queen b. (b. not just meaning bee), and the queen b. is in a pack of three, even. Mean Girls was handled more maturely though, and was definitely better scripted (what can I say, I lurve Tina Fey—rhymes!); one thing, though, is that Lindsay Lohan’s acting remains the same. Of course we cannot fault her if she has been handed characters that aren’t exactly very multi-faceted. Since viewing was done in improper chronological order, the improvement from this movie to Mean Girls was lost. Even the rich-bitch-stereotype was better in Mean Girls (Regina George would kick Carla Santini’s @$$—and was way scarier as an antagonist).

Headline adults Adam Garcia and Glenne Headly, who plays Lola’s divorcee mother, are grossly underused. I was pleasantly surprised that Adam Garcia was in this movie, because I had been missing him from the Hollywood scene—not that he’s the most talented actor, but rather one of the better eye candy ones. Fortunately, he gives us a good turn as troubled rock star Stu Wolff, and has quite a number of the film's few comic moments. Other turns that were quite welcome on the adult front though were the seeming turnaround of Ella’s square parents, as well as the quirky portrayal of Lola’s father.

I never read the book by Dyan Sheldon, but it must have been quite good for it to have been bought up by Disney. However, the movie feels a little too saccharine, even for Disney; and at the same time quite shallow—the only characterizations delved deep enough into are those of Lola and Ella, eliciting the only emotion in the entire movie. Taking it by itself, even without comparison, you know that it is basically a star-making vehicle for Lindsay Lohan, something that Disney is quite fond of doing (remember The Lizzie McGuire Movie, launching Lohan’s teen queen archrival Hillary Duff?).

Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen could have been funnier, could have been edgier, could have been a whole lot better. But it wasn’t. What it was was a bit of fluff that was a little entertaining, especially if you like Lindsay Lohan; but for people whose time is actually worth money, it may not be worth your while.

Best watched on a popcorn-and-sleepover night. And if you don't have those, then you have no business watching this movie.

Go! | StarMovies | 07.01.2004

I remember watching this quirky three-episode tale of a drug deal gone wrong, a hit-and-run, chaos at a strip club, and a strange rave five years ago. With the rest of the Happy Fun-Loving Kids, at a 12MN showing. Not that it was a must-see movie or anything, but at that point in our lives it was like we were searching for some meaning and we would ingest anything and everything in case we find it there.

The interwoven stories begin with Ronna (Sarah Polley) taking over for part-time dealer Simon (Desmond Askew) at the grocery store where they work. Adam (Scott Wolf) and Zack (Jay Mohr) are looking to buy from Simon, but Simon has gone to Las Vegas (story of which is in the next vignette). Ronna decides to do a sideline and contacts Simon's dealer Todd (Timothy Olyphant). It's a con, though, because Adam and Zack have been coerced by Burke (William Fichtner), who then share a strange dinner with him and his wife (Jane Krakowski of Ally McBeal), which turns out to be--an Amway seminar. Polley and Fichtner shine; Katie Holmes, as Sarah's best friend Claire, is quite forgettable, though. Olyphant's turn as the drug dealer with a soft spot is also notable; however, it seems he has not been given a chance to shine in later films.

Go is a dark movie that delves in a lot of drugs and sex. However, it does so with wit, humor and creativity. The movie does not lack for pace and is quite well-made, if only as an homage to Pulp Fiction. Many scenes have been deleted, though, from the StarMovies version (as usual). Go has many twists and turns, and sometimes the plot is too outrageous for words, but then that's how this movie sums up the wheeling-and-dealing scene. The tying-up of loose ends in the last part is a bit forced, though. A movie targeted specifically at Generation X, Go cannot be termed a cautionary tale. On the second viewing, I realized this is not the type of movie you can watch over and over. However, Generation X-ers should watch it once in a long while, so that they can be reminded of those good old days.

Law & Order: SVU | StarWorld | 06.30.2004

On Law and Order early yesterday morning : Families

When a 16-year-old girl is found dead in an alley, the NYPD Special Victims Unit try to crack the strange case. First suspect is their choirmaster, to whose apartment Shannon has a key; however, it is determined that the apartment was only a meeting place for Shannon and her boyfriend Aidan, and the choirmaster is also the lover of Shannon's best friend. There is a twist, however: Shannon was pregnant, and with the child of a male relative. Further investigation reveals that Shannon and Aidan share the same father, Jason, who has been supporting two families--Shannon's family under an assumed name. When Jason shows up dead and Shannon's mother and brother take off, it becomes a full-blown murder investigation that doesn't forego any sordid details.

It was nice seeing Jane Seymour again (as Debra, Jason's legal wife); also a much more mature Helen Slater, the original Buffy the Vampire Slayer, as Shannon's mother Susan. Seeing her was a who-is-that moment, that turned into an aha! moment. Brilliant performances from both women, as from Patrick Flueger, who plays the tragic figure of Aidan, who loses both girlfriend and father in one fell swoop and then found out he had impregnated his half-sister. It is also a treat to see cutie Spencer Treat Clark as Shannon's brother Brian, originally a suspect because of the incestuous nature of Shannon's pregnancy.

As always, crime stories such as these try to up the level of sordidness, and one topic that is always sordid is incest. In this case, it wasn't really intentional--reminiscent of an anecdote told among the children of the famous and prolific (in terms of fathering children) filmmaker Artemio Marquez, where one of his daughters falls in love with a man only to find out that they are half-siblings (so that's why they had the same surname!). Law & Order: SVU is almost always well-written, and well-paced--this episode is no exception. It is one of the above average episodes, made more watchable by a stellar guest cast. In the end, it is the promise of a relationship between half-brothers Aidan and Brian that lifts us up from the pathos. There is hope.